Collin Smith
by on August 27, 2021

When you contact a girl online you need to know what to say/do in order to have successful results.

If you didn’t read my article yesterday then you should definitely check it out: ‘Get your online dating profile together’. This is one of the most important things you can do to improve your chances of being successful online.

Back to today’s article, here are some guidelines to follow to help you know how to contact a girl in the right way:

Write something that can open a further conversation

The best way to do this is to comment on something she mentioned in her dating profile, whether this is a common interest or something that caught your attention.

You could also start something totally new but that would probably come a bit out of the blue to her, the same as it would if you approached a girl in a bar and said, “Did you know that birds descended from dinosaurs?”

You can also always compliment her on her looks, but rather than just saying “Wow, you are HOT!!!!” it’s better to mention something at least a bit more subtle such as “You have a gorgeous smile” or “I love the shade of your hair”. And go into detail — girls love details!

Make sure you write properly

Again, as on your profile, don’t use forms like “u” for “you”, cuz for “because” or the horrible “how re you doing”. (Do you really think you’re saving any time writing “re” instead of “are”? That’s almost as bad as writing “hangin’” instead of “hanging”). It makes you look uneducated, in a hurry, or both :p

Keep it together

It’s understandable you want to seem interesting and make sure you get a reply, but try not to make it too “interesting” and write something like:

“I suppose it’s always a bit of a challenge taking the first step and breaking the ice towards someone whose profile is at once concise enough to allow for questions and imaginative input, while also providing precious details at every turn. But i am not here to discuss the ineffability trope — plenty of (better?) literature dabblers have done so before me. No, i’m here to compliment you on your beautifully flowing profile (indeed, i come in peace… and some shameless alliteration)…..”

Come on, isn’t it a bit too much? Would you believe that it’s a real mail I got recently? I don’t even know what half of it means! Just be yourself! Relax and use a friendly tone without trying to impress her so desperately!

A few exchanges later

After you exchange a few emails, it’s time to take it further and suggest you meet up, or at least talk on the phone, otherwise she might assume you’re not interested.

Asking her out right after the first mail might be a bit too soon though. I’d leave it three or four. That also gives you more time to learn about her before you go on a date and avoid some of the worst of those uncomfortable first-date getting-to-know-each-other moments!

And remember: whatever you do, do it with politeness and confidence. Confidence is extremely attractive and I point that out as often as I can.

Final word…

There’s plenty more I could say about online dating but I hope this gives you a taster into how best to go about it.


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